So I’ve sat on this for awhile. Going back and forth on whether I wanted to release my feelings on J. Cole’s new album KOD. Because releasing it would be me acknowledging my own problems or demons. But I guess that’s the point of this project.
Musically, it’s not my favorite. I know it’s satirical but I can’t get with the repeated, weird flows. I actually like what some would call the ‘boring’ style of Cole. Anyway, for this album, it’s not the music that I’m drawn to, but the message. The project has forced me to do some tough introspection on myself and the fact that I have definitely sought the escape of alcohol or marijuana in the past for comfort. While I wasn’t (not) an addict. I do recognize that I have an addictive personality and hence the propensity to easily become addicted to substances. Because my worse fear is being addicted to anything outside of myself. I was always able to know when it wasn’t such a good idea to partake in any possibly addictive substances.
Essentially, it has been my pride and probably money that has stopped me from becoming an addict. But even with my pride, I can admit that drugs and alcohol definitely take the edge off. It can help me think or even just feel relaxed. I’m always planning or thinking of the next move. But when I’m not sober, I feel free from all of that. Happy. Unstoppable. Alcohol and marijuana are essentially an escape from myself and my mind.
Everyone has a vice or an escape route whether it’s drugs, sex, attention, money or etc. The point of KOD was to acknowledge the reason why we need to escape. What are we escaping from? What’s the root of the problem we need solving? Because in the end when it’s just you, the problem will still be there. We have to stop running. We have to Kill Our Demons. Trying to escape from them is just making us sicker and desensitizing our minds and bodies to what’s really around us.
Don’t get it twisted. I’m still trying to essentially face myself and my own demons. But the first step is to acknowledge that they even exist. KOD has helped me do that. Kill. Our. Demons.